Women in History

In the library today there were several people talking about women’s suffrage and women’s rights. They read about several different women in history and how their experiences have brought women to where we are today.

There is one thing I cannot imagine and that is being a black woman when slavery existed. To have 12, 13, 14 children and know that my children do not belong to me they belong to your master. I could not imagine how these women must have felt; to have affairs with certain men just to keep other men away from them. All I can say is Harriett Jacob was a brave woman. To be a slave and have to hide and pray you will be able to get out.  To live in Sarah Morgan’s day and have to write all my thoughts down because women just didn’t make exhibitions of themselves. It is amazing how any of these women were able to even have their own mind, but I am sure it was kept to a minimum.

In 1870, Julia Howe wrote the first Mother’s Day proclamation. She wrote this in response to the death and destruction she had witnessed during the civil war. Julia realized that war goes far beyond killing soldiers. She called on all mothers to come together for peaceful relations and disarmament.  She tried to rally women to take a stand. Emily Dickinson also wrote in the time of the civil war. She would write about loss and all emotions that accompany war.

Another time I would not want to have lived in, when women were fighting for the right to vote. Several women were arrested due to their strong belief that women should have the right to vote.  Virginia Woolf, who also was a part of women’s suffrage, was a victim of sexual abuse at the hands of her older step brother. I believe this is why she fought for women’s rights.

History has shown women suffered for years. Black women suffered in slavery, white women suffered in silence. After seeing all of this suffering some women decided, enough is enough, and went against the grain and fought for women’s rights. If for one second you could put yourself in some of these women of history’s shoes I believe we would all want to fight for more women’s rights. If women today had as much guts as some of the women in history maybe we as a country would be further than we are now.

The 7 Me's I am

This past weekend I attended the Hinman Dental Convention held in Atlanta. I was privileged to be involved in a workshop conducted by motivational speaker, Dave Weber. Dave is from Kennesaw, and he is probably the best motivational speaker I have ever heard. He made us laugh and made us cry, but in the end I think we all came out better people. The topic he discussed was the 7 Me’s I am. Of course at first we all thought this man is crazy. He was talking about us all having 7 other people inside us. Then he starts explaining about these 7 individuals, the me I think I am, the me others see, the me I used to be, the me I want to be, the me I really am, the me others try to make me, & the me I try to project. When you start thinking about all of these you realize, wow, we really do have all of these aspects in each and every one of us.

Let’s talk about the me I think I am; is totally different from what other people see.  We think people see us one way and in reality they see us totally different; this brings us to the me others see. A lot of times people may see a person that jokes around a lot as someone who is confident, but are they really confident? They could be using this mechanism to shield themselves because they are actually very timid. When you talk about the me I used to be you could possibly be holding a grudge against someone and letting this eat away the very fiber of your being. The three words Dave discussed were: anger, resentment & bitterness. These are all cancers of the soul. If you think about it, we must learn to forgive. Learning to forgive is for you not the other person. The me I want to be, think about three roles in your own life. Then list how you can be the best possible role model in these areas. The me I really am, 20% of people have insight into themselves and 80% don’t. The me others try to make me, the others in your life may be your: boss, spouse, children, parents, friends, etc. Why can people not accept us for who we are? This is the question everybody wants an answer to. If you ask your spouse this simple question: what is the one thing you would like for me to stop/ start doing immediately? This will open up a whole new line of communication. The me I try to project, we are always on stage. Think about going to church; you’re in a rush and you are screaming at your kids and get all upset over little things. When you get to church and get out of the car and someone speaks, it’s “hello there how are you?” at that moment you project that you are ok even though you were all upset.

After taking this course, Dave Weber opened my eyes to things in my own life. I am positive if you ever get the chance to take one of his courses he will open your eyes as well.

Parents at the Dentist Office

Why do parents take their children to the dentist? Normally, parents take their children to have their teeth cleaned. They reward them when they have no cavities; you did such a great job! What happens when they do not have ideal hygiene? These children end up with cavities. Now the parent(s) start in on their children about what they eat and drink. Often times I would love to say, if you didn’t buy these types of foods or you made sure your child brushed more often, it is quite possible they would not have cavities.  If a cavity is not taken care of within a reasonable amount of time it gets bigger. One would think this to be logical thinking; this is not the case in many dental offices. In the dental practice I work for so many parents blame the children for their cavities or act like the dentist is making them up. When a child is brought into our office Dr. Mehta has an ethical obligation to notify the parent if their child has cavities. She did go to school to be a dentist. Our office will go over a treatment plan letting the parent know how much the filling(s) are going to cost, and we offer to set up an appointment as soon as possible.

This one particular patient’s mother is so unbelievable. Her daughter was in for a cleaning in September, of last year, for a routine cleaning; it had been almost a year since she had been to our office. Due to this patient’s extremely busy tennis schedule there was no way her mother could get her in to have these cavities filled. Finally, she comes in today to have the fillings done and one of the cavities had gotten bigger; I explained this to her mom in depth.

The mother looked at me as if I were speaking a different language. What do you mean it’s bigger and going to cost me more money? So I could not refuse, this was my opportunity to tell this woman in a way she could understand. I said, “Well if you would like for us to just take out the part we diagnosed six months ago for the original price we would be happy to, but if you leave the rest of the cavity it will decay into her root and you can pay for a Root Canal and a crown, or she could possibly loose the tooth”. Now the woman can apparently understand the language I am speaking because she says ok it’s not a problem. Another analogy I like to use, if you have cancer are you going to only take half of it out?

Patients will be patients and dentist’s are here to help, but do not treat them like they didn’t go to school to work in this profession. Dentists are doctors and should be treated as such.

Jordyn

Jordyn, my four year old, has never been the type of child to be defiant or unruly. All of this changed late last year when we started getting calls from his pre-k teacher and letters sent home from the principle. Jordyn was acting out and seemed to always be tired. He was the first one down at nap time and the last one up. The teacher suggested that he be put down early at night, but his bedtime was already 8:30 pm. I am not the type of mother that says “oh no, not my child”. When one of them does something that is disrupting class I will go to any lengths to help the teacher. It seemed nothing we did helped him to get the adequate rest he needed to function at school. Then the sore throats started and just kept coming. I tried every home remedy known to man, to try and help him, to no avail.

From October 2011 to January 2012, it seemed like every day he was waking up with a sore throat. Every occurrence was the same; he would wake up in a bad mood, saying his throat hurt. Sure enough every time I checked his throat, there they were the tonsils from hell. Red, inflamed and coated with a white film, nearly touching each other and one or the other touching his uvula (the little dangly thing at the back of the throat) at all times. I called the doctor at each occurrence and when they asked “What does your child need to be seen for today?” my reply, “He has strep throat”. I think he had strep throat one time; the other 5 trips it was just enlarged tonsils. Finally, we get a referral to the ear, nose and throat doctor to hopefully find out what is going on.

Our first visit to the E.N.T was very simple; they looked at Jordyn’s throat and nose and ask an array of questions about what he had been going through. The doctor announced that she wants to have him allergy tested and an x-ray taken of his adenoids. I am not a doctor and I think to myself, what does allergy testing has to do with his tonsils? Thinking all the time this place is trying to get as much money as possible. Man was I wrong. I take Jordyn for allergy testing and sure enough he is allergic to: eggs, milk, oat, and mold. So now that two of his favorites, eggs and oat (strawberries and cream oatmeal), have been cut from his diet, we have to wait two more weeks to come back to the doctor. Two weeks of not eating anything he is allergic to and hopefully we have found the source of our aggravation and most of all Jordyn’s aggravation.

This morning was our follow up appointment with the E.N.T doctor. He has done so much better since we cut out the foods that he is allergic to; I assumed he was going to be ok. Why I keep assuming after all of this I do not have a clue. Of course he is not “ok”. Yes he is doing better but not good enough. Now our journey begins and he has to have a tonsillectomy and an adenoidectomy. Just to give you a little insight, Jordyn does not take pain very well. Oh Lord, this is going to be fun!  

    

Last Thursday my best friend took me to lunch for my birthday. We were enjoying each other’s company and were conversing on what our weekend plans were. When I looked up there was this older couple, maybe 70-75 years old, coming down the aisle with their granddaughter. I would say the granddaughter was probably 15 or 16 years old. I thought to myself what a wonderful way to spend your afternoon.  

This scene brought back so many memories for me; my grandparents were my world when I was younger. Times have changed, but our families still need to know we love them and we appreciate them. In my adolescent days I could not wait to get out of school to go over to my grandparent’s house.

My grandmother whom I called “Mama” was my second mother and my partner in crime, so to speak. She wasn’t the type to spare your feelings; if she thought it she said it. She always spoke the truth and never let anyone run over her. She was the dietician at the Cobb County correctional facility. All the inmates called her Mrs. B. I remember going to visit her at work and those men respected her like she was their mother. Whatever she needed they were there to help and got it done.

My grandfather whom I called “Papa” had the sweetest soul ever. If you came to him and needed something he would do whatever necessary to help you. He was a retired Navy sailor (22 years) and a retired police detective (23 years). I loved to hear all of his, old navy, World War II and police stories. Every time he told one his face would beam as he retold the details. Spending time with him was like spending time with one of my best friends.

Everyone that met them or were around them could just see their love for each other. Papa thought the sun rose and set in Mama and tried to show her every day. Summers at their house were for barbequing, swimming and just having a good time. If you were fortunate enough to spend any amount of time with them, eventually you would be calling them Mama and Papa to. They loved to travel but always wanted their grandchildren with them; therefore, my cousin’s and I were fortunate enough to travel with them.

I have so many fond memories of my mama and papa; I could write a book. I spent every second I could with them, and if they were still here I would do the same. My mama dies 15 years ago, and my papa died 3 years ago. I miss them every day more and more.

I would do anything to be in this young lady’s shoes. To be able to spend the afternoon with my grandparents, but like most young people today she could not take her eyes off her cell phone. This girl didn’t put her phone down for 5 seconds and I don’t think she spoke a total of 10 words to her grandparents. I wanted to tell her when they are gone they are gone for good. These young people need to realize there are many of us that would love to just have one more lunch, one more conversation, hear one more war story, or take one more trip with our grandparents. Please do not take your family for granted; they are here today and gone tomorrow.   

My Vent

I don’t know if college is really for me. I have really had a hard time this past week keeping everything in order. I know I am just starting out and there are situations I will have to figure out, but I feel like everything is working against me. It seems as though nothing I do is adequate. Every time there is an opportunity to receive extra credit I miss it by a few hours or a few points. Realizing I am not fresh out of high school, I work full time and have four children to take care of, I’m probably always going to miss these opportunities.   As the old saying goes, a day late and a dollar short, yep that’s me.  I don’t have a cushy job where I can do class work. All of my work has to be done after my boys go to bed. Yet every day I continue to push forward for that all illusive piece of paper. When I leave my house my 10 year old gives me encouragement like you would not believe. Sometimes I think my boys are the only reason I keep going. I want so much more for them in life. I don’t want them to be stuck in a dead end job at 36 and try to go back to school. I want them to go to college straight out of high school, and then they won’t have the weight of responsibilities of trying to maintain family, job and school.  I have cried too many times to count and then I get so mad at myself. I know I can and I will do this, but it gets really overwhelming when you feel like everything is against you. I am the first person in my family to go to college and I will not break. What doesn’t kill me will make me stronger, and if I have to be in school until I am 50 I will obtain that illusive piece of paper. I will obtain my degree come hell or high water.

 The gentleman in the picture is of Native American descent. If you know anything about the Native American culture they will go to great lengths to protect what is theirs. Today there are several tribes that are nearing losing their land and their homes. Children in these tribes are being forced to quit school to help support their families. He looks as if he is ready for a war, a war that is going to be hard to fight. Politics seems to play a role in every aspect of life and it looks as if he is protecting this building or possibly his land from further damage. I would say he is at whit’s end and would do anything possible to protect the land he lives on. He seems to be trying to make a statement that the Native American spirit will not be broken. To this day they still dress in vibrantly colored feathers and extremely large head gear, although their reservations are being destroyed. The living conditions are beyond reprehensible and many could not imagine living this way. I feel as if they need to exclaim we still have the spirit that we did many years ago but this is what we have been reduced to.

Native Americans are still trying to stay the course and live off the land although it does not seem to be working for them. In this day and time with a grocery store or Wal-Mart on every other corner it’s pretty difficult for the Native American. These stores are selling the same goods at reduced prices and there is no way a small time farmer can keep up. All of this goes back to needing to keep our money in our own communities. If more and more American’s would keep their monies in their own communities and support small time farmers such as Native American’s we would all be better off.

The Best Valentine's Day Gift

My family has been on an emotional roller coaster for the past several months; the doctors told my mother in December that she had a lump in her breast, cancerous cells around her pancreas and she possibly had bone cancer. When the testing started we were all for sure she had cancer. What were the odds of her not having some sort of cancer? Considering all of the information we were given.  The testing regimen went as followed: blood tests, mammogram, CT scan, bone scan and endoscopy. It is truly hard to fathom with technology today that we had to wait this long for the results.

To give you a little insight I am not the typical woman when it comes to Valentine’s Day. Valentine’s Day never held much meaning for me. Yes of course my parents used to get my sister and me the little heart shaped boxes with chocolates inside, a balloon or a stuffed teddy bear. My birthday is two days after Valentine’s Day; therefore in my opinion the birthday preparations always took precedence over the Valentine’s Day festivities. Even after years of not having birthday parties Valentine’s Day still really has no meaning for me; I appreciate the fact my friends, family and coworkers who love to receive flowers and gifts from their partners, but that is not for me. I know this is not how most women feel and I would say that my husband is a very lucky man; he is off the hook for a card, the roses, or any other gift pertaining to this day.

My feelings about Valentine’s Day have been reconsidered as of today. Just like the petals that fall from the roses that some people receive, my worries fell away, all with one phone call. On the other end was my daddy and he announced,” There is no cancer anywhere in your mother’s body”.  My eyes were overwhelmed with tears; in an instant the tears were like a rushing river flowing over my cheeks. This wonderful news was the absolute best Valentine’s Day gift I have ever been given or will ever receive.

My Family

I thought I would blog about my family this time, so here it goes. My husband, Woody and I have been married for 11 years. We met 16 years ago and have been inseparable ever since. We have four beautiful boys that keep us on our toes. Our boys range in age from 2 to 10; there is never a dull moment in our house.

Our first son Blake was born in 2001. He is very mild mannered child, and as other people have described him, an old soul. He is now 10 years old and still just as sweet as he has always been. He attends Cartersville Elementary School and has made Honor Roll every year. He strives to do his best at everything. Some of his favorite things to do are: going to Sunday school and church, playing basketball, video games, swimming, spending time with friends, going to Mucka and Grandgad’s house, and to our house in Florida.

Logan, is our second son, he was born in 2006. He has always been a very busy child and is the only one of four that walked before a year old. He attends Cartersville Primary School. He likes to go to school and does very well. He loves to play by himself and has an imagination out of this world.  Logan is a perfectionist. We found out last year that he has ADHD. He is a very loving and compassionate child. Some of his favorite things are: dinosaurs, cars, basketball, football, going to Mucka and Grandknots house, and to the Florida house.

Jordyn was born in 2007 and he is number three. He is a little high strung and I think it is more his age than anything. He attends Cartersville City Pre-K and he loves it. He is a very social child and loves to make friends; he never meets a stranger. Jordyn is an outside the box thinker therefore he usually does not need toys. He had much rather figure out how a toy works than to play with it. Some of his favorite things are reading, writing, tennis, golf, football, going to Mucka and Granddad’s and the Florida house.

Our BIG surprise, Nathan, was born in 2010. Even though he was totally unexpected he has been a wonderful addition to our family. He attends Cartersville Child Care and has many friends there. He is very much a mama’s boy and I love this. He loves to interact with his brothers and wants to do everything they do. He is a happy baby and rarely has a bad day. Some of Nathan’s favorite things are: taking a bath, brushing his teeth, swimming, going to Mucka and Kucka’s and the Florida house. I believe he would live on the beach, he absolutely loves the sand.

Now you know a little bit about my family. I would do anything for the five people mentioned in this blog. They are my life and couldn’t imagine my world without every last one of them in it. My family means the world to me.

How can this be Happenening?

Thursday of last week my mother called my sister, Shawnta and I three way. This was not unusual for us because we usually do this about three to four times a month. This time was different; I could tell there was something wrong; she was not her chipper self.  Whether she wanted to talk about one of the grandchildren or let us know something ridiculous my daddy had done; she was always in a good mood. Her mood was very solemn this time. The information she had for us was nothing like we expected. The results from her CT scan, she had a month ago, showed suspicious spots on her pancreas and her blood enzyme level is very high. She tried to tell us without crying and in fact did very well; until she told us they think it may be cancer. How could this be happening to our mother? Shawnta and I were in disbelief; we were strong for her and could not wait for her to give the phone to our daddy. Finally, she gave him the phone not a moment too soon; we both broke down crying. My daddy kept telling us the doctors don’t know for sure yet. We have to keep our faith, pray and not give up. They are supposed to go back to the doctor on Monday to meet with her doctor. Shawnta and I believe the meeting with the doctor is to let our mother know how advanced the cancer is.   

My mother has six grandchildren which range in ages from 2 to 19. She does not want us to tell them anything just yet. My sister has two girls, Allie, 19 and Erin, 17; I have four boys, Blake, 10, Logan, 5 Jordyn, 4 and Nathan, 2. I think Allie, Erin, and Blake will be upset with us for not telling them now. They are old enough to know something is going on. Logan, Jordyn, and Nathan are too young to understand what is going on, so I understand not telling them. We all have been on pins and needles just waiting for Monday to get here. What does the future hold for my family?

Dealing with ADHD & ODD

I had always heard my mother say ADHD is something parents made up; so they wouldn’t have to make their children mind. I believed this to be true for many years; and was so ashamed after we found out my second son, Logan has ADHD.

When Logan was a baby he would sometimes become upset over little things but we never thought anything of it. As time went by his aggression became more & more out of control. He would become agitated by simple things: such as one of my other sons getting too close to where he was playing, if they looked at him the wrong way and especially if he thought they were laughing at him. He would occasionally turn to physical retaliation; which he would be punished for but never seemed to help. When Logan was 4, Jordyn, our younger son came to us and told us “Logan scares me sometimes.” I do believe that was the most chilling thing I had ever heard one of my sons say. He started kindergarten in August 2011, and the first few months were a nightmare. He was not able to sit still, concentrate on his work, control his emotions or retain anything he has learned. I didn’t know what to do, where to go, or to punish Logan every time he did something that was against the rules. I was so confused not wanting others to think of me what I had thought of other parents for years. I had to have some kind of help, so I called the pediatrician to find an answer. She referred us to a psychologist to have Logan assessed. After months of play therapy, the psychologist was leaning more towards Asperger’s Syndrome. We tried several different techniques but to no avail; Logan still had his issues.  We decided to try another psychologist; someone that would exclusively treat pediatric patients. After only two sessions with the new doctor, he decided Logan needed to be tested for ADHD. We had to wait four days for the results; it was like waiting an eternity. The results came back diagnosing Logan with ADHD (attention deficit and hyperactivity disorder) and ODD (oppositional defiant disorder). There was finally a reason why he acted out the way he did; could there possibly be peace in our home? I kicked myself a thousand times for believing my mother all those years. A decision had to be made to place him on medication or let him be the way he was. There are so many different views on the medication for ADHD, but I had to use my motherly instincts and put Logan on the medication. A whole new world opened up to him and I do not regret anything we have done. Logan seems to be at peace and does not look for every little thing that might agitate him. He actually enjoys school now and he & his brother get along great.     

Does the FDA really care about our food source?

I would say that the auditor's that were hired did in part cause the fatal listeria outbreak in the cantaloupes. Why would the auditor's give advice on the packaging system at this time? On the other hand, why would Jensen Farms take this information & implement it? If the system you have in place is working for you & the product has been safe thus far, why change now?  It’s not worth anyone losing their life for a company to save a few dollars. In my opinion Jensen Farms & the auditor's both contributed to the outbreak. They were both negligent & therefore responsible to some degree for the 30 deaths that occurred. Maybe we should come down on these auditor's where it really hurts, their pocketbooks. It is quite possible, that if we require them to pay restitution to these families, that lost a loved one, and these companies would do a better job. Who's to say that Jensen Farms didn't pay over & above the auditor's normal fee? And in return they obtained a 10 of 10 ranking. Why would anyone not think this is a conflict of interest?
True enough the United States has had an enormous amount of budget cuts over the past several years. I can understand cuts here & there, but to have a system where the producer pays an auditor to inspect their own product.  As citizens we all count on the FDA to protect our families from these types of dangers in our food. One solution may be, to set up an account for the producers to pay their inspection fees into. After the fees are collected then the FDA would hire the auditor's. I would think this could be a solution to the matter at hand.  I don't know about others, but I prefer to know that mine & my children's food is safe. So please make cuts elsewhere and protect the food we consume!