My Vent

I don’t know if college is really for me. I have really had a hard time this past week keeping everything in order. I know I am just starting out and there are situations I will have to figure out, but I feel like everything is working against me. It seems as though nothing I do is adequate. Every time there is an opportunity to receive extra credit I miss it by a few hours or a few points. Realizing I am not fresh out of high school, I work full time and have four children to take care of, I’m probably always going to miss these opportunities.   As the old saying goes, a day late and a dollar short, yep that’s me.  I don’t have a cushy job where I can do class work. All of my work has to be done after my boys go to bed. Yet every day I continue to push forward for that all illusive piece of paper. When I leave my house my 10 year old gives me encouragement like you would not believe. Sometimes I think my boys are the only reason I keep going. I want so much more for them in life. I don’t want them to be stuck in a dead end job at 36 and try to go back to school. I want them to go to college straight out of high school, and then they won’t have the weight of responsibilities of trying to maintain family, job and school.  I have cried too many times to count and then I get so mad at myself. I know I can and I will do this, but it gets really overwhelming when you feel like everything is against you. I am the first person in my family to go to college and I will not break. What doesn’t kill me will make me stronger, and if I have to be in school until I am 50 I will obtain that illusive piece of paper. I will obtain my degree come hell or high water.